In this series of articles, I draw from key excerpts of my textbook on how to write fiction The Fiction Writer: Get Published, Write Now! whose 26 chapters go from A to Z on the key aspects of writing good and meaningful fiction.

T is for Don’t Tell; Show

While telling may be more direct and economical in words, showing is more evocative, more vivid, more cinematic. And, ultimately, more engaging. This is what showing does; it engages the reader by luring them into the experience of the story. Telling simply imparts information to you without engaging your emotions. Showing, by its very nature, invites you to experience the event being described. Showing also reveals something about the narrator (usually the main POV character) through their observation.

Novice writers (and some professionals) often fall into the trap of info dumping instead of presenting information dramatically (i.e., showing it). Unless you’re Gabriel García Márquez, who can write superb exposition for pages, the best way is to dramatize your description. It takes courage and confidence to say less and let the reader figure it out. Exposition needs to be broken up and appear in the right place as part of the story. Story is paramount. Telling is one of the things beginning writers do most and editors will know you for one right away. Think of the story as a journey for both writer and reader. The writer makes a promise to the reader that s/he will provide a rip-roaring story and the reader comes onside, all excited. This is done through a confident tease in the beginning and slow revelation throughout the story to keep it compelling. Exposition needs to be very sparingly used, dealt out in small portions.

Telling has its place in narrative. Telling is very useful when you need to let the reader know about an event or action that you do not want to describe in vivid detail; for instance, a scene that isn’t critical. For example:

Sally raced to the airport to catch the plane.

Simple and succinct telling works effectively as transitional narrative. Instead of spending time with this rather mundane journey through city traffic, we can move forward in a sentence to where the action on the plane—the next critical scene—will occur. Telling sentences serve as bridges for critical showing scenes.

When you show your work to editors, agents and fellow writers and they describe it as “evocative”, “cinematic” or “vivid”, take heart—you are showing. If, on the other hand you receive a response that uses the word “padded”, you know you’ve been telling a bit more than you should.

U is for Unclutter Your Writing: Less is More

“Fiction by new writers often suffers from excessive length,” says author Maya Kaathryn Bohnhoff. “Inflated prose is frequently a contributing factor. Too many words are devoted to recounting basic events.” She’s talking about telling versus showing and info-dumping with description that slows action.

One of the best ways to unclutter your writing is to simplify it. This doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to be a Spartan and write sparingly like Hemingway. The model of achieving “simple” within “complex” is as hard to understand as chaos theory and autopoiesis. So, I won’t bother. But I will talk about various writing components that would benefit from simplification.

Fluid writing lies at the basis of uncluttered prose. Here are a few suggestions:

1. Cut down extraneous words: when constructing a scene, it is wise to pay attention to cadence, rhythm, number of phrases or clauses and general length of sentences. Sentences in early works tend to be full of extra words (e.g., using “ing” verbs, add-ons like “he started to think” instead of simply “he thought”) that slow down narrative. Try reading your sentences out loud; this practice often helps you to find the clutter.
2. Use active & powerful verbs. Active verbs are the key to vivid writing; and, ironically, to uncluttering your writing.
3. Cut down the words in your paragraphs: pay particular attention to your intro chapters and cut down your words by at least 20%. Be merciless; you won’t miss them, believe me, and you will add others later in your second round of edits. Find the most efficient way to say what you mean. You are guaranteed to achieve this if you follow suggestion number 2.
4. Reduce redundancy: a common phenomenon with many writers, including those who write nonfiction, is that the introductory sentence of a narrative paragraph is often paraphrased unnecessarily in the very next sentence; as though the writer didn’t trust the reader to get it the first time. Lack of confidence and experience is common with novice authors and is something that you must learn to combat. Say it once and say it right the first time.
5. Show, don’t tell: Embracing this way of writing may be the single most effective way to reduce clutter and enhance the vividness of your writing at the same time. While showing may in fact add more words than simple telling, the way it is read (mostly in the form of action) makes up for the added words.

V is for Voices in Your Head

Your voice and story is expressed through tone, perspective, style, language and pace. All of these reflect your intent and are ultimately expressed in the story’s overarching theme. The overarching theme is ultimately the author’s theme, the “world view” of the story. The principal character and minor characters will carry variations on the main theme, each with his or her unique voice.

It’s important to give each character a distinctive “voice” (including use of distinct vernacular, use of specific expressions or phrases, etc.). This is one way a reader can identify a character and find them likeable — or not. In a manuscript I recently reviewed, I noticed that each character spoke in a mixture of formal and casual speech. This confuses the reader and bumps them out of the fictive dream. Most people’s speech is more consistent. Consistency is very important for readers; it helps them identify with a character. They will abandon a story whose writing—and voice—is not consistent. So, my advice to this beginning writer was to pick one style for each character and stick to it. Voice incorporates language (both speech and body movements), philosophy, and humor. How a character looks, walks, talks, laughs, is all part of this.

The story’s viewpoint can be told from several perspectives and which one you choose can be critical to how your story comes across. Different stories lend themselves to different narrative styles and points of view (POVs). David Morrell, author of First Blood, warns that some writers may “select a viewpoint merely because it feels natural, but if you…don’t consider the implications of your choice…your story might fight you until you abandon it, blaming the plot when actually the problem is how you’re telling it.” (Fiction Writer, April 2000). The choices are several:

• omniscient

• third person limited

• first person

• second person

When telling a story through the eyes of a single viewpoint character, it makes most sense to tell it through the main character, the protagonist, around whom the story usually revolves. She is the one who’s going to be chiefly affected by the events of the story.

The use of multiple viewpoints is common among writers and adds an element of richness and breadth to a story. With each added character’s POV, readers are more enlightened to the thoughts and motivations of characters in a story. When you have several characters telling the story, this is called a rotating viewpoint. A few points to follow include:

• Alternate or rotate your differing viewpoints clearly (scene by scene, chapter by chapter, or part by part)

• Don’t change viewpoints within a scene

• Separate different POV scenes within chapters with extra white space or some kind of graphic (e.g., ****)

“…Like the good Doctor’s Tardis, The Fiction Writer is larger than it appears… Get Get Published, Write Now! right now.”

David Merchant, Creative Writing Instructor

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